Picture of the week - week 9

 I was feeling extremely suicidal that week. I couldn't stop thinking about ways to end my life and I freaked out and went no contact for a few days.

Someone in my com had suggested a meetup at a Fazer café. At this point I haven't showered, left the house or talked to anyone in a few days but I kept telling myself "I should go. I'll see friends and I'll smile" It motivated me to get up and get ready. It wasn't bad I ended up having a good time.

Saturday there was a Japan-day even at the city library. My friend had invited me a while ago and I wrote it down in my calendar

16/5/26 15:03

I briefly thought about bailing on that too, but I kept reminding myself I'm gonna have a good time...The weather was perfect how could I not go out when the sun is calling for me?

16/5/26 15:04

We ended up having a really good time together. She’s so kind and innocent and understanding. It honestly felt like a perfect day. We took lots of pictures with my digicam, went to the cute café nearby and got approached by kind strangers. This little girl complimented my dress said she liked lolita fashion. Since we were near the youth section and I took her to where the GLBs were. Later that she came up to me again to thank you! She was so polite aww omg…I'm really happy I was able to softlaunch her lolita journey I hope she'll love EGL as much as I do

16/5/26 15:12

I know it’s hard, but I have to keep looking forward to good days like these. I have to remind myself that feelings are like clouds. The bad clouds, the storms, they will always pass no matter what…Clear blue skies are waiting for me

I have to be strong and hold onto that feeing