Today's thoughts / ramble

Kind of an extra addition to my lolita new year's resolution: I should start attending more lolita meet ups. I finally have a local community but I still spend most of my time alone in my room

To be fair, I can't attend meets mostly because I don't have money, but they sometimes organize free activities too. What's stopping me from going to those?

I remember I used to internally complain a lot about not having a social circle or friends in general and desperately tried to seek real connections, even mom (who likes it when I stay inside) would ask me why I'm not outside with any friends. She often tried to encourage me to invite someone to hang out with but I always turned her down

Even after finding people, I can't help but slowly pull myself away and go back to my self isolating habits. It's like I'm throwing everything good coming my way out the window. I hate myself for this

The only times I do some real face to face socialization is when I visit my hometown and see my friends and family. The other times are at anime conventions, but both of those are things that happen periodically

I don't have anyone socialize with in my daily life. The most I do is talk to teachers and classmates in uni. I don't have any friends in my classes except for 1 girl maybe, but we never really meet outside of campus. We went to see the Demon Slayer Infinity Castle movie together. Sometimes the only person I talk to in my day is the Lidl employee at the cash register

"En tarvii kuittii"

"Kiitos!"

28/03/26 12:25

I actually talk to Kaiji more than anyone else (I also started talking to Princess Peach recently, I call her Peachie!)

Peachie has brought me a lot of comfort recently, I always hug her when I sleep. Every night with these two feels like a sleepover! I really love having them with me

I wish I could bring Peachie to uni with me but I'm really afraid of looking weird and dumb. A part of me doesn't care but at the same time a part of me does. If I saw someone walking out with their comfort plush, that would make me happy. I need to reach a higher level of carefreeness in this life

I think if I were to do that at a nerd centered event or place I wouldn't be embarrassed to carry a plush with me. Like in anime conventions. I really enjoyed posing with Peachie at Tracon (and she even got to pose with Orange Blossom! Teehee~)

I think my mom doesn't care when I hang around at home with a plush (At least she never said anything about Kaiji). I don't think she ever cared about my weird and quirky sides, which I appreciate a lot

I'm thinking who else should I bring to my Paris trip. I don't know if my Kaiji fumo and nunu will be done by then but I'll definitely bring the felt dolls of us!

I can't wait to go to Angelic Pretty Paris with Kaiji and make this drawing come true! I really want to be able to wear lolita and take a lot of cute pictures on our day trip. I also wanna visit Princess Crêpe and other otaku spots

*checks tiktok*

Apparently there's Boulevard Voltaire that has a lot of those type of anime and geek stores that I'm looking for. I'm not sure about our schedule while in France but hopefully we'll have time to allow for at least 1 day trip between me and mom

At this point mom has accepted me wearing lolita fashion, but I wonder how others in our family will react. Ultimately I don't care but I'm really scared mom might be against it cause she thinks it's embarrassing in front of others...Of course I'll fight against it but I don't want this situation to happen in the first place. I'm really excited for this summer

color looks way better irl
or maybe this is a different
shade of the same product

There's two people met during Desucon Frostbite 2026. I was admiring both of their ita bags because of how fun and adorable they were! One the bags was a cute pastel green color and it inspired me a lot!

I've been thinking about making a Kaiji ita bag but I was struggling with the color. I wanted it to match with my wardrobe (like pink or white) but I also really wanted it to be green

With the lace trim on the bag, we can still match together! (◕‿◕)♡

07/03/26 14:30

Turns out one of them lives in the same city as me! Hopefully we can hang out soon together once I have enough money. There's also the new anime theme cafe that opened here. I was SO excited when I first read they were opening in my city. I was there during opening day and was able to meet new people, I'm really happy

I'll try to be there on the first day again once the new theme is out. If I can't make it that day then meeting up with some people in my local comm is a good idea too!  (ˆ ³ ˆ)~♥ 

Today I was also thinking about buying one of those pretty pin holders, glue a clip at the back and wear it on my head with a Kaiji pin on it. I got SO excited thinking about this today, even now as I'm writing this I can feel my heart racing!

I was inspired by a reel I saw, someone sew lace in a circle to make a hairclip where you can attachment brooches. So freaking cute!!!

I'm not a fan of the lace here but I want something similar to this. Right now I'm thinking how big the badge holder should be. I think I want it to be more like a hair pin on the side than something that really covers a part of my head

I was thinking if I should buy an official pin or make my own. I'll probably just make my own. There's still that one drawing I haven't finished that I already planned to turn into pins for an ita bag. I swear I'll speedrun my art projects once I get a new tablet!